Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
