For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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