I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
