i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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