Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
