I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
