another moral hangover. fuck.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize