For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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