no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We're facebook friends in real life
i don't like sucking hair
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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