Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
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You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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