I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
