remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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