Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
