That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
