do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
