i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
