is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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