i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.