but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.