and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.