I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.