with your own penis?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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