Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
