yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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