Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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