the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
