i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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