You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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