Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
