dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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