They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize
