Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
