She said her name was "party"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
