If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
