some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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