You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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