i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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