Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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