i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
