Acid is not a monday night drug
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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