It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
