Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
