Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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