i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
