they need to just BURY HIM!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
