Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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