I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
