Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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