You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
