I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
