i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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