if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
