I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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