well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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