You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
