You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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