hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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