A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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