It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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