My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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