Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I am puke
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
