We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize