Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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